straight from my heart.

I really like church. Sometimes I go, and it's hard to sit there for 3 hours. I can't lie. I'm incredibly weak at times. Sometimes I'm honestly WEAK. Other times though, like yesterday--I just seem to soak it all in, and everything I hear at church is as if it's a special delivery right to my heart. I think God works in mysterious ways like that. When I'm feeling particularly discouraged, God doesn't let me get too down on myself--sometimes he lets me be discouraged for a bit. Other times, it's a pretty immediate pick-me-up. I've never seen God, and I don't profess to have witnessed anything like that. On the other hand, it would be impossible for me to ever deny the existence of God. I'm guilty of often getting caught up in my own life, and what's "best" for me. I think that sometimes though, we all sort of "miss the mark". Maybe what's "best" for us every once in a while is to feel alone. Maybe God needs us to question who we are at times, and what we believe. Do  I actually believe in what I profess to believe in. I think sometimes he needs us to feel a little bit inadequate. He lets us be low. I think all these human emotions are so we can remember who it is that gives us confidence in ourselves. I don't know how, but somehow Christ makes me be better. When I think about Him sacrificing everything, so I can be forgiven, it just makes me want to try a little harder. That was my main take-away from 3 hours of church yesterday. Somebody talked about how much it would bother them if on their birthday, everybody else but him, got presents. He gave an analogy of how on Christmas, sometimes we give everyone else presents, and fail to really remember the reason for it all. What can I give to Christ, when we celebrate his life?? All I can really do, is try to give him my best. Try a little harder every day, to help others. To serve someone. To be a friend to someone who needs it. To think a little less of myself. It really, really resonated with me. To be honest, I feel pretty crazy just thinking about how much that simple analogy really hit me. I thank God, for giving me that simple reminder through that random guy who spoke in church.

Lately I've been reminded that life is never easy, but that doesn't mean that God doesn't play a part in our lives. Yeah, I've never doubted my solid belief in God, but I do have my low moments--I love this scripture from the Book of Mormon: "And I have been supported under trials and troubles of every kind, yea, and in all manner of afflictions; yea, God has delivered me from prison, and from bonds, and from death; yea, and I do put my trust in him, and he will still deliver me." There has never been a time in my life that God has turned his back on me. Nope.  There have been times I've wanted to turn my back, but after all He has done for me, I know I could never do that. Never. I'll always trust my God. I can't say that I can always, trust everyone... My Heavenly Father however; is the one constant in my life. Here is one last scripture from the New Testament I think is super cool--(1 Peter ch. 1 vs 7) "That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ" It's a hard to perspective to keep--that our trials can be more precious than gold. It's up to us, whether we allow the hard stuff to refine us. It's up to us, whether we blame the hard things on God, or we accept them as part of life, and allow them to humble us and bring us closer to him.