Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Rubberbands, Prizes and Pain, Oh My....

I've been having terrible flashbacks to "The awkward years" for the last 24 hours. Yesterday a casual check up at the the orthodontist turned into a soon to come social casualty. This is me coming out to the world. Doc broke me the news that I am about to embark on a twelve week, painful  trip down memory lane. Think of the absolute WORST thing the orthodontist could say to you at this point in your life. That's right, I'm getting braces again. Yea. You better believe I CRIED. Some people get a bad hair cut that does it for them. Others, maybe they pack on a few extra pounds. Some, get told they need braces when they are weeks away from turning 24... The last time I had braces I was 14. I was EXCITED to get braces. Somehow I remember it being some sort of "right of passage" in Middle school. It made you seem older, and the metal mouth somehow made you wiser. I had a cool T-shirt that if I wore it to get my braces tightened I got cool little prizes like hacky sacs and glow-in the-dark bracelets. Well, I put my fears at ease when i asked the Orthodontist if I could win prizes even though I'm a big kid...And he told me I could! WOOOOO!!!! (stoked about that though.. for reals.)  The other cool thing about braces was being able to get all sorts of cool colors. Like for the fourth of July you could get red white and blue brackets etc etc. So, lets look at the major events that will take place during this 12 week Brace Face adventure. Oh and did I mention this will be a 3 month endeavor? Yup. That's the one thing that gives me hope. That's short enough that I can make a chain! And you better believe I'll be throwing a "Monica's getting braces party" and then a "Monica's getting her braces off party" (Info will be soon to come...)

So, lets look at the major life milestones that will be happening during this 3 month Braces...thing.

1. My College Graduation- GO BYU. Staying positive... maybe people will think I'm a SUPER brainiac thinking I'm waaaaay beyond my years in smartness (being a 12 year old graduating from BYU...)

2. My brother's Wedding.- Maybe I can get some brackets in her wedding colors. "Dr. do you have champagne and coral colored brackets??" Perf.

3. My 24th Birthday-There's gotta be some sort of special prize they give to people over 14 on their birthday's that are plagued with metal brackets plastered to their face. Right??? (You'd think I would be a little more mature about this at my age, haha but I'm definitely kinda throwing a tantrum.) 

4. 1st Day of school(yes University that is...not 6th grade)-Yes, before people/Professors know my name in class, I will SURELY be known/referred to as "that girl with braces"

I've also done a bit of research on celebs that have had braces as adults. The most legit one I found was our friend Tom Cruise. He still landed Katie Holmes, so I figure there is still hope for me. 

My next thing is to master the toothless smile. Look at how great Katie rocks it??!! Tom had both braces AND height working against him. Look where he ended up. (lets just pretend they aren't getting a divorce right now...) There IS a light for me, THERE IS A LIGHT!!!!! 

July 23 -October 15th. I hope the Dr. knows that when he told me 12 weeks, that means 12 weeks on the MONEY in my eyes. Trust me, I've already done the calculations...

Lets be honest....I'm about to be known as "the girl with blonde hair, drives a Volvo, and...oh yeah...she's got braces [insert awkward silence here]" That awkward silence is where th two people exchange their telepathic communications/glances of whether or not they would take out/date or kiss a 24 year old with braces.....HAHAHAHA! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I invite you to embark on this 12 week journey with me. I need your love and support friends. I'm not ashamed, I don't have crooked teeth. It's just what they needed to do in order to put a permanent retainer in. But I'm totally not gonna lie, this is TRAUMATIC for me. So if I haven't seen you in a while, or if we are only Facebook friends and you happen to meet me for the first time in real life and think my whole FBook page is a lie bc I don't have braces in any of my pics...well, know that I'm not hiding anything! It's 12 weeks, 3 months. Let's do this, bring on the heavy metal and let's jam.

I will entitle the labels... "Monica's Quest to a Better Mouth: Age 24." (ps I'm laughing out loud at myself right now! hahaha) To come will be blogposts depicting what it's like to be an adult with braces again. Dinner disasters, first impressions, and dating woes... Coming soon! "Monica's Quest to a Better Mouth: Age 24."

4 comments:

  1. Hahaha, oh my heck Monica you're like the most GORGEOUS girl ever! You will ROCK those braces, even if they are torch....and even if you want to tear them of 24/7.

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  2. hahahaha oh man Mon! that does kinda suck. but glad you find the humor in it and have a good attitude! and ya luckily you are the hottest girl i know, so no one will notice your braces. i cant wait to hear about how it goes for the next 12 weeks

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  3. Haha Leigh, I the support is much appreciated! I feel the best way to handle it is just talk with a lisp and wear overalls again!!

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  4. Mon- girl you are cracking me up! literally! I think I should have been born 10 years later so we could hang out! Hahah Watch you will get engaged or something during it all...and it will only make your honey moon hotter...cuz than you won't have the braces....tmi?? sorry lol

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