Rules for Single Mingling at the gym

Alright, so here it is. I have been a gym person ever since I graduated from High school and was no longer involved in rigorous sports conditioning pretty much year round. I am constantly amused at all of the college co-ed interactions that go down within the sweaty walls of 24 hour fitness. Thankfully I have never witnessed what it's like at Golds Gym ( I hear it's much worse....). I have come up with a few theories of the Do's and Don'ts for how to interact with the opposite sex at the gym.


Personally I go to the gym to get a good workout. I don't go to socialize, pick up on guys with nice bods, or simply chit-chat with the person on the treadmill next to me. That being said, let me tell you about a little experience I had just last night at the gym. So I had just finished my run, and I was doing abs with a medicine ball.  This guy approaches me and starts talking to me. I had my I-pod on, and was minding my own business in the corner... The "conversation"went as follows: (mind you that I was so confused the whole time, and taken off guard, that all of the "uhhhhmmmmms" that I have included, are actually really how I responded hahaha). 

bro: you wanna like..do abs? We could throw that medicine ball your using to each other.

me: uhmmmmmmmm

bro:Yea, well it's like, I usually do that too, and my buddy who I always do abs with isn't here.

me: uhhhhhmmmmmm. We couuuuuld.  I don't know....

bro: Oh ok ok ok. soooo where are you from?

me: Denver

bro: Oh cool. I lived there for like 4 years. I'm from Hawaii. I'm an actor/model.

So you sure you don't wanna do abs?

me: Uhhhhhh, yea I think so.

bro: Yea but actually, instead of doing abs we could just go on a date. Would you wanna just not do abs and go on a date with me?

me: Uhhhhhhhhhhhh.

bro: Ya know what it's ok. Just don't answer. Don't answer.. I'm leaving in 9 days. And, wait....so are you saying you don't recognize me? Wow. Are you not into movies?

me: Uhmmmmm no, not really.

bro: Ok, yea, I'm going back to LA in 9 days so it wouldn't even be worth it. But seriously you don't recognize me??

me: Uhhhhhh, should I recognize you? I'm confused.

bro: Ya probably. Well, it was nice meeting you! Have fun doing abs!

I.AM.NOT.KIDDING. This ^^ really happened. Redflagcity!!!!!! WOW. Alright so bless his soul for being blessed with such a great ego and such high self-esteem, but really broseph? You need to take a few pointers from Askmen.com or something. I have put together a few do's and don'ts if you so choose to go for someone you "meet" at the gym. Like I already established, my purpose in going to the gym is strictly to get fit and get in some good exercise. So here you go... 

1. NEVER ask a girl out the first time you see her 

     You WILL see her again, so don't rush it. If you do, you will ruin any chance of getting to know her.

2. Just smile for a few weeks...Don't smother her when you're both sweaty and clearly scantily clad. You go all out and we assume you are looking at the scantily clad bits and not our “inner beauty.” Dropping a quick line that might work at a party will not work at the gym because we feel more vulnerable.

3. Wait for a normal opportunity to strike up a conversation. 

 Maybe she can't get the seat on the machine to move. There you go. You are now cleared to move in      and make a very gentleman-like gesture of helping her. If that somehow leads to a conversation, great. 

Don’t grunt. Some guys like to grunt or moan when lifting heavy weight. Don’t do this trying to get her attention. Doing this will just get you a weird look, rather than an admiration look from her. Don’t spread your both arms wide unnecessarily showing how “huge” or muscular you are.  Don’t try to impress her with the so called Imaginary Lat Syndrome. (hahah please read this, this is a hilarious post!!) 

Don't wipe your brow with the bottom of your shirt as if that is the ONLY possible way to keep sweat from dripping into your eyes.  We all know this is you just wanting to show your 6pack and/or V.